on spousal abuse






forgive me... Mother Mary Moirae
because iv been... a wicked lass
for all the times... that i got even
for everything... that came to pass

for every time... he hit me
i evened up the score
till he finally reached that level
where i could safely... use the door

from work i'd smile and greet him
with a coffee... hot and sweet
the sleeping pill crushed in it
was my special little treat

a night of peace... and safty
till supper time came round
the laxitive... mixed in his stew
id watch him wolf it down

i confess i stiffled laughter
as he ran to bathroom door
as finish up the house work
and any other... given chore

when dishes washed... werent good enough
the pup... would clean his plate
and still he would be whining
that the house was in a state

id scrub the floor and bathroom
then id place his tooth brush back
and id smile...so very sweetly
as revenge i would extract

now moveing on to laundry
and his never ending jeans
a snip on every second stich
as i weakend up the seams

for a while then id rest in peace
as supper ran its course
untill he would then join me
and attempt to push and force

but there are ways around that
and i think i found them all
from laughing when he dropped them
to saying he was small

a yawn within the moment
or reaching for a cig
most affected once their mounted
i think i used up every trick

so forgive me... Mother Mary Moirae
for these examples are so few
but it would take a month of sundays
to confess to all... i used to do.

woof woof

i am not a dog to be neglected
nor a toy to be rejected
i am not an object
with controls subjected

i am a person with my own mind
living in my own time
with thoughts and hopes and dreams
likes and dislikes that i find

not something to be told what to do
to please you
to want your wants and needs and dreams
i am my own person .. do you know what that means

rules to subjugate rules to feed hate
told to sleep to wake
told to eat and wait
subject to anothers dream or fate

i am me with my own mind
i am myself not you
do you know what you do?
i am me not an echoed tool

i tell you not what to do
i ask for very few
i give no rules except respect
and yet you still regret

i told you who i was and yet you lied
you promised safety and yet you lied
freedom? to do as you would see
freedom? to be as you would be?

i am me...........
not you
not a tool
not a fool
i am me with my own mind
i tell you not when to sleep when to eat
i tell you not what to do or when your through
i tell you not what to feel or when to heal
my demands are few you see
just acceptance of.... i am me
im different from you

and yet you still tell me what i can and can not do
and yet still its not enough
i know with me its tough
but i am me i am not you
i have my own thoughts just like you do
i have my own likes and hates and dreams
but you will never face up to what that means
looking for a puppet on a string
that will do most any thing
follow orders expectations un spoken communications
nothing i will do will please you not a thing
because simply i am not a puppet on a string

loves touch

Shadows bloom on pale flesh
Burned deep within your memory
Of their fetid last caress

nothing new

Strangers stalk...
as shadows grow
Deep within your heart

NOTHING changes
ALL the same
Hide... within your shadows
it all begins again

whipping post

beat hard at the whipping post
beat it till it bleeds
it dont really hurt it much
it dont really feel
beat hard at the whipping post
its all its worth is for
beat hard at the whipping post
then beat it hard some more
swap you this here beating post
ill give you something free
it didn’t really cost a cent
but its all its worth you see
i know i treated this whipping post
with out a care or need
but thats what they are made for
to beat em till they bleed
can yell or scream or punch em
discard or throw away
it dont matter how you treat em
cos thats the way there made
past dont count for nothing
nothing it can feel
so beat hard at the whipping post
hit it till it keels
ya think i treat it wrongly?
well here is something free
it didn’t cost me anything
but its all shes worth you see
aint no one going to argue
aint no one going to care
aint no one ever bothered
aint no one any where
i beat hard at the whipping post
got a splinter in my hand
what an outrage that it fought back
where does it think it stand
dont it know its just a whipping post
does it expect that any one should care
not  kith nor kin to stand for it
hit back? how could it dare?
i know that how i treat it
is fine and just and good
no one tells me otherwise
no one says another way i should
so let me take another swing
let me try to hurt
emotions can not hurt it
and it aint worth the dirt

no more

I wandered through the darkness alone its true
listened to comments …from those who never knew
But who needs comments… from a foolish man
one that’s allowed the loss … of all he can
You like pretty poems …husband dear
on dark and true …I waste my time … you fear
well news for you …my husband fine
you know not poetry from simple rhyme
Once I allowed your views and comments ruin my life
but why should I listen …to a man …loosing his wife
your petty comments …your blind retort
were never wanted …never sought
You made my life so dark …so blind
issued your petty orders …from an empty mind
I spit on your values …and all you hold true
poor sad rejected …lonely fool
You never understood that I should want to die
when probably you are the main reason why
your verbal blows …more destroying to mind
than your drunken “caresses” could ever find
Now your feigned care …I know not true
in desperation …you only do
Fear of the loss of a slave …and your whore
pretence of care …you think the cure
I thank you for your insistence that saved my life
but pills or not you still lose …your wife
and as I laugh at your life …destroyed
remember the vengeance from the one you toyed
leave my mind... leave my soul...
leave my heart...PLEASE let go
leave my life...leave my home
leave my darkness...leave me ALONE