on self harm






incessant insects

incessant insects writhing to get free

crawling calling crying out to me

these iritating insects have to be let free

seducing my soul with their soliloquies

passionate promises if i will set them free

smiling blood red lips for non to see

then finally the pressures gone.......

that was held in side of me
these incessant insects of insanity
finaly.............. i cut them free

cut free

cut free the anger
and cut free the pain
cut free the sorrow
theres nothing to gain

cleanse out the horror
the agony the blame
cut clean the heart ache
so we might start again

darkend reality

darkened reality
set the pain free
held by my keeper
my mind tortures me
red wash the agony
tattered and torn
frustration, confusion
my lot I was born
held in the shadows
no rescue from fear
iridescent terror
danger so near


Alone i cry my silent crystal tears ..
Smiles of illusion ..
hide an ocean of deepest fears ..
Desolation ..
Mutilation ..
alone ..
my screams are never heard ..
above the muttering insanity ..
of the deeply disturbed.

lonely mountain top

As I stand on mountain top .. all around ..
silence .. gusting over me ..
deafening .. agonising .. sound ..
Roaring through my head endlessly ..
Blocking out ..locking out ..
all hope and light to see

And as I drown .. beneath dark ocean wave ..
ice cold water ..
pounding .. hounding .. screaming from the grave ..
The preasure .. closing ..
enfolding .. crushing ..
smothering .. me ..
No rescue iminent
to late to be

Darkness closes .. drawing .. nearer ..
tearing .. ripping .. at my soul ..
destroying .. my being ..
destroying my whole ..
Emptyness .. lonlyness ..
incompleat shell ..
No one to rescue me ..
from this living hell

No way out .. no escape .. no hope .. no one to care 
No one to run to .. too much to bear ..
Pills forced temptingly .. pushed into my hand .. whispering promises ..
tantalizing .. fantasising ..
to much to .. with stand

Almost of its own will my hand rises ..
to my tourterd twisted face ..
willing me .. chilling me ..
seducing and inducing me ..
to a final .. peace full ..
silent.. last embrace ..
Swallowing greedily ..
i consume my last salvation ..
for the first time i close my eyes
in quite .. peacefull .. calm ..contemplation