on assorted

poems 

games 

thewidow

gallery 

photos 

the ticket 

with a crumpled ticket now creased with age
i was cast upon this world wide stage
with lost tommorows and yesteryears
with violence spurned, wounds washed by tears

then flight towards a future chance
with hope held dear within romance
behind the pain, the fear, the fight
so much at stake with in this flight

a promised heart, tommorows new
a chance of a dream, into his arms i flew
but that was then and i never knew
that the dream, that the promise would not hold true

the crumpled ticket now creased with age
disgarded upon this broken stage
stained by blood, by time, by tears
old wounds replaced by new found fears

i bought the ticket it was crisp when new
clear bright lettering whispered id make it through
but that was then and i never knew
there was no hope to be found in where i flew

new fear, new pain, new dread, were cast
a future replaced by the same old past
abandond in a country that hope fortold
for the price of a ticket my futures sold
hidden feelings

the dark light

look into the dark light
hear what cant be said
mirrors to the soul you know...
echo thoughts ....
............that run rampent through the head

to know a soul thats hidden
from ideals it will despise
look into the dark lights
only there ....
.....................the hidden feeling never lie's

Remember me

A lost memory… echoing… empty in the breeze?
The hidden jester… hoping darkness flees?
Forgotten song… mournful in festered decay?
So long from the sirens song
Too long to have stayed away


Concealed

Concealed… in the cacophony… of a temporal woodland
Yellow sunlight… splits… on moss covered ground
Blue bell'd flowers… dance… in shallow breezes
as birds sing… to the silence… cast around

Waterfalls… call… with gemdrop harmony
As soothing streams… hush… your troubled mind
Crickets… add percussion… to imagined silence
As you float… in the haze… of this surreal sublime


seeking sands

Stepping out… on to the shifting sands
As the grains move beneath my feet
Wind whispers restlessly
As grasses bow to greet

Ever changing moving on
Nothing ever stays the same
Lost anchor’s wash on to rocky shore
White horses... crashing down again

Salt's lie thick within the air
Encrusts upon salted cheek
Climbing ever higher on crumbling cliff
Ragged breath falters to find that on which I seek

false siren

Remove the mask of darkness
Remove… obscurity
Remove… anticipation
Remove… the cloak…of mystery

All that went before you
All… that was before
All the hopes and dreams of (platitude)
Are…
……… as nothing… you once saw

Now bared… she stands before you
Imagery… stripped… from where she stood
No graceful smile… to light visage
No vision… of womanhood

Failing… In abundance
Marred flesh… to scold the eye
Repulsed by wanton longing
The ungainly way she’d try

No sirens song to weave you
Dealt harsh reality
No false visage to tempt you
Only the imperfection which you see

empty spaces

Empty spaces… missing phrases
Words lost… in the wilderness
of an empty rhyme

Misconception … mind congestion
Thoughts… miss spoken
from the missing time

Malevolence rises… with the hidden surprises
Primeval screaming…
from a distorted mind


Eye of the storm     


Ignore the warnings on T.V …it could it would never happen to me
Fear grips at you as you as you decide you were wrong to stay
Its determined its angry its on its way

Howling noise roaring echoing through your head
Gusting forces tearing at your body, pulling you uncontrollably on
Rain tearing through your clothes, ripping lashing at you
Whipping you unmercifully strong

Fear coursing faster, heart beating louder
Is it the wind howling rushing at your ears?
Or is it your own blood
Responding to your fears

The anger of the tormented skies
Its furry blinding to your eyes
Cold terror as things fly by
Watching terrified as peoples life’s, peoples possessions fly high
 
Hang tight in fear as it tries to claim
Your grasp slipping in cold slick rain
Your heart howls why did you choose to remain
But suddenly it’s quiet again

Destruction… death lies all around
Cries of pain… loss… torment the only sound
With relief you let go your hold and stand on solid ground
Secure in new safety you walk, see the destruction around

Unaware that behind you racing towards you once more
Once more it will be after you worse than before
You let go of your hold so secure, you fell for the lie
Did you not realize twas only the eye

Now out in the open your just another victim to prey
Did you not realize it was always this way
Lost in false security of the ignorant few
Scream in the new found knowledge as it takes you


mesmerismic moment

Look into the flame… flickering in the dark
Feel it drawing you… feel it in your heart
Dancing seductively before your staring eyes
Do you feel it enticing you… do you feel its lies

False comfort… illusionary heat
Catching your eyes… drawing the mind deep
Mesmerize hypnotize stare in to the flame
If you look deep enough you’ll never be the same


how to trust

how to trust unto a world where its second nature to deceive
what becomes of little white lies? or a twisted truth we cant perceive?
is it truth if its not spoken? is it truth if its not found?
is it truth to keep a secret?  its it truth to make no sound?

and yet is honesty perception? and do we really care?
do we go with common feeling? or do we really dare?
does trust and truth lead us... to our honest destiny
or does it merely help us... live in fantasy

how far to quest for honesty?
how far dare we intrude?
is it looking for confirmation?
is it prying to be rude?
dare we look so deeply?
dare we gaze at what we find?
best it not to live in darkness?
where the blind can lead the blind

 


inspiration spent

Most wound's aired now may I heal
But now what inspiration to find
Is my poetry now set in seal?

Can I write purely from the mind?
Surely the heart is the best
the strongest, purest most passionate kind?

What’s left only a hollow whisper light?
No strength of emotion
No power no might

Now thoughts of emptied soul
Must the wid0w
Now find new role

All experience spent...all bile vent
But with my life too
my inspiration went

What’s left cannot be cast in word
Soul shattering loneliness
A cry never heard

My life in poetry now cast away
But can the wid0w  now find
Any words left to say

last dance

Strangers leading the moonlight dance
Never looking… never seeing…
Lost… in the myth of romance

Seeking not to deep… lest they find
Not only the hungry need of the heart
But what’s hidden… deep… in the fractured mind

Lost heart to fulfill a need
Lonely soul
Lost… to fit the greed

Last dance… as they come to know
What’s hidden…
Beneath… the smiling glow

Know not the person… lest the heart will grieve
Know not the workings…
Lest you cant proceed

Salve the loneliness…
With the empty seed…
But look not for love…
The selfish… will never succeed

Discarded gift… its never enough to gain
For fear of the knowledge
For fear… of the pain

An open heart… lost to chance
discarded to the emptiness…
Of the final… last dance

sirens song

False visage stripped from the sirens song
as blindfolds ripped to show true view
Marred by many an imperfection
Her song held nothing close to true

Spell broken… she stands before the sailor
Ship… cast on jagged shore
Revulsion held with in his horror
Nothing left of the song before

Now held against his honor
Trapped by a promised tune she held


hold me

Keep me safe when dangers near
Hold me tight when im in fear
Don’t let go when I am dark
Reassure an open heart
Dark hours plague my soul
Pain from within
taking their toll
Gossamer veil flows
over tear-filled eyes
Mind awash
from the rain
of the stormy skies


the beach

Stepping out… on to the shifting sands
As the grains move beneath my feet
Wind whispers restlessly
As grasses bow to greet

Ever changing moving on
Nothing ever stays the same
Lost anchor’s wash on to rocky shore
White horses crashing down again

Salt lie thick within the air
Encrusts upon salted cheek
Climbing ever higher on crumbling cliff
Ragged breath falters to find that on which I seek

gossips paradise?

Soul exposed to titillate?
Lost emotions… shown too late?
Rendered heart to sympathize?
Raw pain… for the hidden eyes?

Spewed words from the venomous heart?
Twisted phrases… torn apart?
Bile poured in poetic phrase?
Is this… the way… my conscience plays?

Black veil on a darkened mind
Lost soul… led by blind?
Instinctive scream to alleviate?
The weak… complaining of festered fate?

Or
Hopes and dream to share?
Communication?… now so rare
Purged demons… in hope… to cast a fear?
In hopes of shedding… that final… crystal tear?
 

Escape
(BlackWidow)

She sits within the corner tears streaming down her face
Isolated in her solitude lost within her space
Scenes flow throughout her memory of times so long ago
Her mind is stuck on replay, she’s trapped, no place to go

Mired in her misery… horror haunts her mind
She’s looked so hard for new escape… there’s non-for her to find
No one to truly miss her… no one to truly care
No one she feels would notice, if she wasn’t really there

She’s tired now of misery
She’s tired of the solitude
She’s tired of constant battling
Of what she has endured

What’s the point of struggling? Why the need to fight?
Does it really even matter… if she gave up now this night?
Why is she expected… to live this life of hell?
She knows there is no answer; she knows she wont get well

She wipes the teardrops from her eyes, as smile lights her face
Serenity and peace of mind… as hope takes horrors place
She knows now of the answer, to chase the terror and despair
Realisation what to do… escape from pain she has to bear

She rises from her corner moves from within her torture mind
She hunts throughout her house for all the bottles she can find
Taking a glass of water she swallows all she can consume
A smile on her velvet lips as she walks toward her room

Laying down her troubles as she lays upon her bed
A contented sigh of peacefulness as she lays down her troubled head
Idly she wonders just how long she’ll lay
Before finally some one notices and takes her body away

A single tear of solitude as she waits for deaths sweet touch
The cruelties of a harsh life she found at last too much
No more agony, no more pain, no more hate no fear
Her body grows colder to the touch… on her white cheeks a single tear

                                Blackwid0w